There is this very select group of people i would never, ever ignore. So, upon receiving a miss call or message from them sends me into alert mode most of the times. But i surprised myself the last week. I actually broke my own rule. And i wonder why.


Yesterday was quite nice. Till the end bit. Hmmm. Discovered this absolutely fantastic place. Me and kez was gushing over it so badly. Me especially. Corduroy's or something likedat. Really really nice.


Cs's exclamations of not wanting to book in just brought out that feeling in me too. But for me it's not what's going to happen inside that's bothering me. The life in SI is quite lovely. the peeps too. It's just that i know it's a bad time to be seperating myself from outside world. When i'm in the process of engaging very important issues i'm plucked away to this isolated place. Yup.


This one two weeks are very scary for me. It really is. Especially since last weekend. A heavy shot of realisation hit me. That what must be decided should be. But then the dilemma came naturally with such decisions. And that amazing gloom that comes along with the possibility that i no longer love some things like i used to is depressing. It puts to test some of the greatest values and faiths i kept closest to my heart. Many options open up on the other hand. But so many years passed.


I know.
I know what i will decide upon.
But just the thought of doing otherwise, and knowledge that i considered such options scares me.
It really does.