On the way home, i lost my way.
Is it really me walking this path?
Or am i living another life?
Is there anything living beneath the crazy front?
Why spoil my happiness now when numb numb fun is all around?
Because it may not be real.
Is it?



The truth is, i see two paths. And it's absurd i'm willing to walk both. Willing to give it all away. And it doesn't even matter. How can logic be lost on me like this? So cruelly. How can a brain as decisive and stubborn as mine be so hopelessly devoted to unknown endings. And the silence is likely to continue. That is the tragedy. It's like on the highway i see this path. I'm willing to forgo my targets, to go that unknown direction. The point is that path might never meant for me to go on. I may be unwelcome. And indeed who am i to go on that path? I feel that i'm cruel to myself. With no status and no affirmation i blindly adopt my calling. And it's wrong i know. Yet i refuse common logic. It might just blow in my face someday. But i still go on.


Today was a great day. Woke up to have a morning swim with cs before going for a lazy lunch at sushi tei and dessert at haegen dazz before shopping for some stuff. Steamboat at yy's place was great. I was like the clown of the day. Yipeelalala.


I think i shall stop blogging today. Because i'm overwhelmed with a sudden sense of nostalgic melacholy. I am already such a person wherei can switch myself from that mode to the crazy enthusiastic guy i'm sometimes from the reserved snobby snotty character. But in writing i can't convince myself. So i shall stop.


For now.
I need a break. And some signs.
I mean what i sing.