Went for ns medical today. Hmm. Got into PES A as expected. Argh. They better better better not send me to some shitty hardcore units. Argh. Better not. Hmmm. The place, CMPB, was unexpectedly dilapated, and there was an unsual exposure to the discriminating attitude that was dealt to malays and also the normal students. Which i know of, but don't see the reason why. Why is it here that such crap happens? Hmm. Weird system. The medical in short was a waste of time.



Hectic week. In terms of self imposed pressure and some other stuff getting on the mind and soul. Most jarringly is the issue of detaching of myself from some very significant event. Hmm. Well, it was not on purpose, but when u make a decision of priority, you take the forsaken party, and reflect on it's value, and what it meant to you. Which is really alot. I hear friends, most disturbingly close ones as well, proclaim the non importance of symbolism in life. These include presents during birthdays, birthdays itself, organisations you committed yourself to before and classes you have once bee part of, friends long forsaken, schools that were empircal in your education. All of these, some feel, let bygones be bygones. But how can that be? How can things that signify more than the mere physical value be thrown behind so easily. Things you stood for, and had treasured, should always be treasured. The constant lack of uptigntness of one group, a habit, a ritual, a person, whatever it is, will ultimately lead to the degradation of your relationship with it. And that, is the essense of society's emptiness. The forsaking of past which leaves a gap there that can never be filled by present materials but only obscured. Sometimes, you wonder, if it would ever be filled. Even if it does not, does it mean we shield it away from our hearts, just to make ourselves feel better?



Busy. Tired. Trapped. Apprehensive. Afraid. Wishful.



" She said we gotto hold on to what we got, it does not matter if we make it or not, we've got each other, and that's alot..."


A lot.