There are certain ideals in a person you can identify after knowing a person for some time. One of mine, unfortunately, is foolish persistence and a overly strong sense of standing up for my ideals and what i feel is right. Like that instance when i was the main nco of the sec 3 squad. i was a big busybody in unit policies for the squads. And one of the initiative was to drop physical training and remove it from the passing requirements of the promotion. A NAPFA pass was enough. It was logical. Sensible really. Since it was a CCA wide policy. In fact. NPCC units all over never gave PT any regonition anymore. Our unit was already noble in keeping it for that long. But me being stubborn foolish me, insisted on keeping it, and asked the officer in charge dear mr chan to allow us to keep it. Haha. He must have thought i was over zealous and foolish, which i now realise i was. But that was me, setting on something and even when it was deemed not neccesary anymore, i would stand by it. For the record, PT finally was scrapped, although we put in effort to prove our point. Sensibillity triumphed and foolish me stashed away another of my ideals. Then, i had really good buddies standing by me to fight for these stubborn idulgences. Most significant of course would be kenneth and zhong teck. They were under me, but really we were more like a trio who fought for our policies we devised and deemed best for the squad. Ok, i was overly doomineering in the ideas and decisions i guess. But really, we had so much satisfaction building something together. When, kenneth shared during the final parade day, that there was immense fun...i think that was the word he used, to work as a team for the future nco squad, i was swept away by the notion of not having that opportunity anymore. And it stays true till now. None of the 3 of us have been given a chance to experience something like that anymore. Maybe that is why we are still the best of friends and try hard to stay together, and go out once in a while, even just for the sake of it.


What is the point of saying all that? I was just asked to drop something out of my baggage today. Whatever sadness there is, is not of lack of success but just a poignant sense of going against what i believed. Fighting for what you set upon, and going against the odds. The golden ticket has been issued and used. No regret. No lost. Sucess will still emerge at the end of this journey. But all these, every bit of it, bears testimony to what we have lost, and are holding on. There is only two way to walk from here. One to give it all up. The other to persist, and treasure your ideals more. I choose the latter. I choose to persist and treasure what i had and will have, restricted it may be within my principles. Thank god fo the memories and friends whose images keep me constantly on my toes. Telling me not to lose my heart or my soul.


Holding on.